MAFIA
by chidori44
Summary: The M.A.F.I.A guild consists of eight people and one initiate. They live in a nineroom cardboard house. Watch as they party, eat pizza, get into fights, party more, and just act like idiots. T to be safe. This is my first fic I published here.


The White Usul walked through her transparishield mansion in Maraqua. A good part of the huge mansion was barely used. The ground level was her bedroom, guest rooms, and other necessary rooms, and the top had the meeting rooms and her parents rooms. Her parents were rich diplomats, so she could afford all of the best.  
Which left the floor in between. It held the guest room for her mother's guests, who liked to entertain, but it was for the most part unused.  
Only she used it. Her guild, the Usul Benefit Guild, had been founded in Neopia Central, where connected to crime "guilds" all over Neopia, Kreludor, and Virtupets, and her power had clamped over the lesser guilds. She could easily pay for the flunkies, weapons, and connections she had in abundance with funds she secretly stole from her parents using a mole in the National Neopian. She had a one-way transparishield room that would hide who she dealt with.  
Today, it was the Maraquan Mafia. A sharklike Neopet that was supposed to be a Maraquan Grarrl angrily bursted into the room. She knew what he wanted.  
"What are you trying to pull, Acacia? I heard about what you're doing to the operation!" the Grarrl said angrily.  
"Carchradon, you need to calm down. I know someone is sapping your guild's funds, but what can I do?" Acacia said, in kind of a "I really want to help you" tone.  
"Don't hand me that! Even if you had nothing to do with this, your little Furry Doll Benefit Group has more power than our operations! We lost our power for some lousy NP! And now we'ren't even getting that! I'm the captain of this section. Your controlling everything and I'm going to be shark fin soup for it!" Carchradon roared.  
"Wow. A three-way contraction," Acacia said dryly.  
"Acacia, if you don't shut the f--- up and give my funds back," he said while removing a custom-made Grarrl Terror Blade from a sheath, "I will cut your land-loving a-- to bits. I know you're all talk when it comes to fighting."  
Acacia didn't answer. She just snapped her fingers and two fingers and two mutant Grundos came out of Invisibility and beat Carchradon down.  
"Don't kill him, idiots," Acacia said calmly, "Deliver him to 'Kill Him Slowly.' He'll know what to do."  
The Mutant Grundos stopped, slapped a Slaving Collar on Carchradon, and dragged him out.  
Acacia sat back when the secret Benefit Knock was rapped on the door.  
"Acacia is in. Enter," she said through the intercom.  
An Usul came in with a bottle of Rose Wine and a clipboard. Acacia set the bottle on her desk and looked at the clipboard. It showed how much she was bringing in, how much she was paying, and how much power she had in neighborhoods.  
"Why is Guild Street both operating in the red and has such little influence?" Acacia asked.  
The Usul almost sighed, "It's three things, ma'am. Meadow, the fuzz, and the M.A.F.I.A."  
"The fuzz and the mafia. Quite a combination," Acacia snidely remarked.  
"Not the mafia. They're almost completely under our control, simply because our incompetent Guild Street boss doesn't handle them. The M.A.F.I.A is actually semi-competent, which is why they are beating us into the ground on Guild Street."  
"Aww, stop bagging on Meadow. She's not that bad."  
"Boss, an eight-person guild is killing us in a whole neighborhood. We need to get, at the very least, more experienced troops involved."  
"Eight people! This guild is losing to eight people!" Acacia said, suddenly angry.  
"Apparently so, ma'am," the Usul said.  
Acacia pulled out an UBG Assault Lightning Gun with a Mote Launcher, loaded a Supernova, and put the weapon in a case.  
"Book a shuttle up to Central," she said.  
"Right away, ma'am!" the Usul said.  
"I want the M.A.F.I.A's members beheaded and their heads on plaques," Acacia said, "If I don't get those, I'll take Meadow's!"

Chomby610 (AKA Stego) the Red Chomby sighed. He sat on his new Neohome's front lawn.  
"I'm going to get you a new Neohome," his owner had told him and his brothers.  
'So why did you get a house in a neighborhood where guild fights break out every day?' Stego thought.  
His thoughts were interrupted by three Neopets standing next to a Blue Frost Cannon. They were arguing over something.  
"We can't put this thing in this guy's yard!" a Yellow Aisha said.  
"We also can't tell Angel we won't set up this cannon because you won't let us!" a Grey Kyrii said.  
Stego got up and trotted over to the three Neopets.  
"What are you doing with that cannon?" Stego asked.  
"Who are you, boy?" an Island Wocky with a Mystery Island accent asked.  
"I'm chomby610. People call me Stego," Stego said.  
"Well, Stego, what we're doing with this cannon is guild b..." the Kyrii began to say.  
"Oh, we're going to shoot it at the Usul Guildhouse," the Aisha blabbed, earning her glares from her guild members.  
"So you guys started these fights?" Stego asked.  
"Um, I believe the term is war?" the Aisha said, earning even more glares.  
"Heck no! We defended ourselves when they opened hostilities on us and our allies!" the Wocky said.  
"That's not what my cousin said," Stego said.  
"Your cousin is probably an Usul then," the Wocky said.  
"Stego, you don't know the story," the Kyrii said.  
"Then what is the story?" Stego asked.  
The Kyrii sighed, "Come into our house. We'll tell you."

"You see boy, the Usul Benefit Guild tries to make itself look like just a whole guild of Usul fans, but it isn't anything close to that. The Usul Benefit Guild is connected to organized crime all over Neopia, and in some cases, such as the Faerieland Mafia, have completely usurped their power. I'm sure they'd try to take Dr. Sloth's operation over if they had an army that could match his," the Wocky, whose name was Neko said.  
"The thing was, as they expanded, their leader Acacia took her best troops with her and focused on the area she was currently in. Repeatedly doing this meant the original guild house got the greenest troops, the crappiest equipment, and the worst funding," the Kyrii, Itachi said, "That meant our guild could become more powerful."  
"We weren't even on bad terms with them until recently, when they started demanding protection, probably to supplement their meager income, well, at least meager compared to the rest of the UBG," the Aisha, whose name was Mariah said.  
"So when you didn't pay up, they attacked, and the rest of the guilds got involved and started a guild war," Stego said.  
"Guild Wars is a computer game," Neko said, "These are more like massacres."  
"You see, our guild is small and poor. Our armory is full of plastic butter knives and wooden blocking shields. This house is made out of cardboard. The other guilds aren't so much better off. We have skill, simply because any new members have to be initiated to test their skills, but the Usuls have a well-equipped army. We can't match that," Itachi said.  
The conversation was interrupted by a Darigan Ixi.  
"Who's this guy? You guys pick up another initiate?" the Ixi asked.  
"No, just the guy who owns the front yard you wanted to put that cannon," Itachi said.  
"That guy moved people into the house? I'm sorry. I should have f...never mind," the Ixi said.  
"It's okay, Boss. The kid knows," Neko said.  
"Yeah," Itachi said, "I wonder how he figured out..."  
All three of them glared at Mariah.  
"Well, I'd like to welcome you to the neighborhood. I'd tell you to move out, but I know you can't get a refund from the builders. My name's drkangl666, leader of the M.A.F.I.A. People call me Angel," the Ixi said.  
"What are your initiation tests?" Stego asked.  
"Well, we usually give people four tests, but we'd only give you three because you have your own house. We usually have to add rooms and buy furniture, so you save us a bit of money," Angel explained, "They usually involve doing stuff for us that isn't involved with the war. I'll tell you if I come up with something."  
"'ey boss," a Fire Shoyru said from next to the blaring boombox, "You could enter him in the big race..."  
"This doesn't concern you, Ryouta," Angel said, "He's just asking about the tests. You're not avoiding the race."  
"Actually, I do want to join," Stego said.  
"Oh," Angel said, "In that case, let me show you around."

Angel pointed out the Fire Shoyru first.  
"That's chibiryouta660. We call him Ryouta."  
Next she pointed out a grey Koi and a Disco Acara.  
"The Koi is koi111. We call him Goldfish. The Acara's akari19. We call her Hippie. They're hanging out with a Grarrl, but he's painted Invisible. We had to hide him somehow. His name's chunkyman303. We call him Chunky."  
"You already know my second-in-command Itachi, Neko, and Mariah," Angel said.  
"So what's this big race?" Stego asked.  
"It's basically a huge street race from Guild Street into Concrete River on scooters and skateboards. You'd get our Guild Skateboard," Angel said.  
"Wait, so we're racing into a river?" Stego asked.  
"It's not really a river. The Central governor paved the steep banks with concrete, creating a hill so steep you have to skid down on the side of your ride to slow yourself down. The river's empty now, so there's nothing to worry about. We usually send Ryouta, but we can send an extra this year. There's no limit on how many people you can send. If you finish, this will count as one test, third will count as two tests, second is three, and first will net you some good item along with the three tests," Angel said. She turned around and walked away.  
"Wait!" Stego said, "Is this race that hard?"  
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around. Ryouta was standing there.  
"The race is in three days," Ryouta said, "I suggest you start practicing with me tomorrow."

THAT NIGHT: ACROSS THE STREET

Acacia's private Maraquan hovercar rolled up to the white chocolate guildhouse of Usul Benefit Guild Guild Street. The house was blaring with MYNCI music. The music annoyed Acacia to the edge of insanity, but she hadn't come to criticize Meadow's music tastes. Flanked by her right and left hands, a Darigan Usul and a Darigan Grundo, along with five Mutant Grundos, ten Mutant Grarrls, and two Darigan Grarrls, Acacia walked up to the door and knocked.  
An Usuki Girl Usul opened the door a crack.  
"Oh hey, girl! Come in!" she said, obviously not recognizing her.  
She opened the door and held her nose.  
"But the freaks will have to stay out," she said, "Ewww!"  
She slammed and locked the door.  
"So, fellow Usul, who are you?" she asked.  
"Acacia, the guild leader," Acacia replied.  
Action in the room stopped. The music clicked off faster than a banana vanishes in a Mynci's hand.  
The silence was quickly broken by an exploding snowball being thrown into the door.  
The Darigan Usul marched in, followed by the guards she brought in.  
"Nobody move! Hands and knees! Everyone!" she barked.  
The partying Usuls screamed and ran around panicking. The few Usuls who followed her directions were promptly trampled.  
Acacia pulled her rifle, cocked the mote launcher, and pulled the launcher's trigger. The Supernova vaporized certain unlucky Usuls and injured many more, but it got their attention.  
"Where's your incompetent boss!" Acacia shouted.  
Two Darigan Lennys brought down a Royal Girl Usul. It was obvious that although she might have once worn the clothes that came with the paint job, she didn't anymore.  
"Here's the snitch, Boss," the Lenny said.  
"Thank you, Frankie," Acacia said.  
"I'm not Frankie, Boss," the Lenny said.  
"I know, but there's always a guy named Frankie in the mob. Besides, she's not the snitch. Do we even have a snitch?" Acacia asked.  
"There's always a snitch in the mob," the Lenny said.  
"This is going nowhere," Acacia said.  
"I know, Boss," the Lenny said.  
"Acacia, sir, I mean ma'am! I can explain..." Meadow said.  
"Explain, Meadow!" Acacia said, "That's 20,000 NP you can explain. And if you don't, my boys here will squash you like a Mootix under the Monoceraptor's foot! And a little birdie told me that an eight-person guild is beating you!"  
"We don't have enough troops to fight both the M.A.F.I.A and their allies! Our equipment could be better too!" Meadow shouted.  
Acacia fired her Lightning Gun at her.  
"Don't mouth off to me, Kuso-Hime," she said in a calm but angry tone.  
"Now," she continued, "You have seven days to wrap up these financial troubles by at least halving your debt, elimitating the M.A.F.I.A, and taking over the operations of the rest of the guilds."  
"That's impossible!" Meadow exclaimed.  
"Oh it is?" the guild boss said, removing a Dark Nova from her pocket, "You're expendable, you know."  
"There's a truce that lasts two days before the Big Race and three days after! You're giving us one day to shut down about ten guilds who are more than eight members strong!" Meadow shouted.  
"You have more than two platoons of UBG troops. What's so hard?" Acacia said.  
"85 troops is enough to take them one at a time, but we don't have the time to take them one at a time. And what if they team up on us?" Meadow said.  
Acacia sighed.  
"Have it your way, Meadow," she said resignedly.  
"You will have five days added to your limit, but be warned. My winged Grarrls have Portable Kilns, and your house will be melted if you don't succeed. Not only that, we'll cut you up, bit by bit. And you'll end up like Carchradon," Acacia said. She opened up a plastic bowl, revealing a bowl of shark-fin soup.  
Meadow gulped.  
Acacia put away her weapons in the case and walked out the door.  
"Five days, Meadow..." she said before hopping into the hovercar.  
"G...g...goldie?" Meadow said to a Gold Usul.  
"Yes, ma'am?" the Usul said.  
"What time is it?" Meadow asked.  
"2245 hours Neopian Standard, ma'am," she said.  
"M...mobilize everybody," she said, "We're getting rid of the M.A.F.I.A tonight, before the truce goes into effect!"


End file.
